Every once in a while, you get struck upside the head with a truth that seems so novel, but so glaringly obvious. Such was the case with me last weekend while backpacking in the white mountains of New Hampshire. Let me explain.
Three friends and I were hiking along a trail, and we started talking about our preferences of socializing with people. Then I really started analyzing my preferences, and I noticed something interesting: my social preference depends on if I'm in my element or not. You may be asking yourself what is "your element." For all intents and purposes here, your element is an environment where you feel comfortable and like you fit in. As we were discussing what types of situations we feel most comfortable in, we all agreed that we were comfortable in that moment at that place. This struck me. One reason why is because we were all very into the outdoors. When you get people doing something that they all similarly love and are passionate about, the environment is bound to be more conducive for him or her to thrive in.
After I made my discovery of truth, I came up with a take-home message: For you to be comfortable in different social situations, get into whatever you are into. Get into your element.
6 comments:
I find that no matter what I'm doing, whether it's something I love or not, I am only really comfortable when I connect with the people around me. I feel like the people surrounding you make all the difference in the world to how comfortable you are.
Great point m. I guess I am being confusing in discussing the environment's effect on someone. I just wanted to stress that doing things that you are more naturally adept at doing will give you more opportunities to connect with people around you.
While this may be true, I think it's harmful to constantly be seeking only those opportunities to do things and be in situations that we are totally comfortable with. It stifles personal as well as social growth.
It's always been my belief that (most) comfort zones are bad whether they're spiritual, social, physical, mental, etc. And really, as I've been trying these past few months to more actively live up to that philosophy in my own life I have not only discovered new things that I enjoy but also realized as I push through my own insecurities and limitations that I don't have to be scared or uncomfortable or insecure at all. And, that most of those limitations are self-created.
Most importantly though, I've realized that it IS entirely up to me how I react in different situations. It may be easier for me to act a certain way in situations I'm comfortable in, but even when I'm entirely out of my element, my actions, feelings, and interactions are still entirely up to me. I have just learned that when I come out of a social interaction that I'm not pleased with (ie, didn't go the way I wish it would have) I just need to deal with it, analyze it, and figure out what I will do differently next time. If I always avoided these situations I would never improve and expand the number of situations that are "comfortable" for me.
Sorry that this turned into kind of a rant. This is just coming from someone who used to be painfully shy. If I never pushed myself to overcome my fears I would never have been bold enough to have taken the teaching and learning opportunities that I've had, have made me better, and are now where I am most comfortable. That's all.
That was so well put k. I am a firm advocate of getting outside your comfort zone for personal progress, so I completely agree with you. Let me qualify my stance: sometimes its nice to get in your element.
Are we not understanding what you're trying to say? Ah well, those look like real mountains in the background of that pic!! I miss those...a lot.
Well said!
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