Monday, June 30, 2008

Likability

I watched the movie Wall-E last night and the theater was absolutely packed. It was packed for a reason. An interesting thought came to me: I was struck at how you couldn't help but like the main hero of the movie. Why was this? Undoubtedly, this theme is studied a lot at Hollywood and I already understand certain elements. Obviously if the character is cute, funny, or an underdog he's almost universally more likable. You find yourself literally rooting for him and wanting him to succeed. In this regard, movies accurately represent reality.
The interviewer hires the candidate who he likes the most, not who is the most qualified. As a salesperson, the more you're liked, the more money you earn. People don't usually buy things from salespeople because it is the logical thing to do. They mostly buy because the salespeople get on their good side and they start to like them. The ensuing benefits then start to sound good. It's no wonder that the good sales associates are always likable individuals.
At the core of missionary work is a very important principle: Build relationships of trust. I could rephrase this to "Become liked." It's absolutely crucial for those you teach to like you.
This principle determines how we function in interpersonal relationships. People are more likely to put up with your crap, give you the benefit of the doubt, listen to your advice, offer help, do kind things for you, consider you legitimate, and want to hang out with you if you score high on their likability scale.
Politics tells the same story. Initially, political platforms matter far less than likability. When you like a candidate, it opens up the door for you to learn more about their views. You then have a much higher likelihood of agreeing with their views after you like them. And if you really like them, you'll do crazy things like volunteer or vote for them. On the flip side, people are often turned off to candidates for one reason or another. Once disliked, very little can be done in terms of convincing and reasoning. (We humans are not logical creatures, folks. In fact, sometimes we're just plain silly.)
So how do we become likable? I think there are universal likable traits out there (like being a humble, funny 28th century robot), but for the most part I think it depends on which crowd we want to be liked by.

7 comments:

Unknown said...

Trent, I think you are very likable. You know what? That is a funny looking word.

kia said...

So true!

Interesting fact (well, at least to me it is):

Several studies that I have absolutely no idea how to reference have shown that malpractice lawsuits against doctors are almost entirely dependent on how much the patient likes the doctor. A likable doctor is far less likely to have a malpractice suit filed against him or her (even if there was malpractice involved in the case) than an unlikable doctor is (even if there was no malpractice involved in the case). Hmmm...I guess I should work on being a likable doctor...

p.s. Wall-E = super cute and thought-provoking, but I'm pretty sure if it had been an olfactory as well as visual/auditory experience it wouldn't have been quite so pleasant. (Wow that was a lot of pretentious-sounding words).

Anonymous said...

I like robots.

michelle said...

I really think likability is one of the keys to being a good leader. I think my mission president once said (and maybe many other people said this too) that you can't lead your enemies. People aren't going to take your advice or accept your opinion if they don't like you.

trentathon said...

renny - [blush]
kia - that is exactly what i was thinking! and the reasons why we like others are not all that straightforward. good luck with not getting sued a lot.
la - i like most robots
michelle - i think you are going to be a great leader someday

Aubrey Claybrook said...

I don't know you either...but thanks for the post!

Anonymous said...

I saw WALL-E yesterday and my theater was pretty packed too. There were a lot of children there, however, they were not the ones that were making all the comments and loud laughter, that was the adults. Comments like "LOOK A PLANT!" and "HE ROLLED OVER THE COCKROACH AGAIN!" It made me laugh.